Sure,
you've heard them before, but isn't it nice to
be reminded what really works...and why?
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PAPILION STYLE
We like Papilion's style. He says "lots of fresh home made orange juice (usually 3 oranges and 1 lemon) then a nice long shower and then lots of sex :)"
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WATER, WAITER.
Your body might have been 90% water before you went out but it feels like 20% now. Get your dried up prune body over to the tap and drink, drink, drink. Drink 'til you stomach's so full it hurts, then wait. 5 minutes later your mouth will be parch dry again and ready for more. Two minutes if you smoked ciggies.
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GO BACK TO BED
You've drank hard, you deserve a good rest. Especially good if you can find someone to wait on your every need.
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PLAY IN THE HAY
When you've tried all else (better still, before) settle down to a good old fashioned romp. The exercise pumps your blood, the rest, well you know what that does. And at the end you can down a big drink of water and slip back into a peaceful slumber. Ahhhh...
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DRINK SPORTS CORDIAL
You know, like Gatorade and Powerade and probably Staminade too.
You wee'd out all your body salts, so you'll be needing some more. Naturally, the liquid refreshment will do you good too.
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GET A SUGAR HIT
Get like a kid on red cordial and pump yourself up. See, your body needs sugar to break down alcohol which means right now it hasn't got any. Which is why you're feeling weak and lightheaded. Mars Bars are good...they only take 15 minutes to start giving you a sugar hit. Jellybeans will get you bouncing too, especially the glucose ones you get from the chemist. And they won't make you as fat.
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DON'T MIX YOUR DRINKS
Don't mix your drinks, don't mix your drinks, don't mix your drinks. Unless one of them's water.
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THE GRAVITY CURE
If you feel gravity tugging, let it win for a while. Find a warm, flat floor on which to settle your bones. It'll open your lungs and slow the pounding in your head. Feel free to fall asleep.
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WET DREAMS
Before you go out put a glass of water next to your bed. Then drink it and put another one there for when you get home. Works best if you know where you'll be sleeping.
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THE WEEN METHOD
A scientifically proven variation and far more acheiveable of the "Don't stop drinking" techique.
It works like this.
If you drank 10 beers last night, wake up and drink 6.
When you start to sober up from that, drink 4.
Then 2. Then 1.
Then go back to the start and drink another 10 beers.
(Note:This technique should never be taken so far as to result in 0 beers being consumed)
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